Sunday, March 12, 2006

Leonard: Acoustical Anomaly

Why Bees are so Bee-otchin'
#8 Honeybees have no sense of the individual; it is all about the survival and success of the colony. If a honeybee becomes injured or old and is no longer able to work, it may go to the edge of the hive, jump off, and die. If it doesn't kill itself, it is killed by the fellow worker bees that it has spent its life helping.

Leonardism...
Leonard is the loudest cruncher I've ever met. When he's eating something that's crunchy, I can hear him even if I'm on the other side of the apartment, in a room with the door closed. He's a little self-conscious about his crunching, and if we have people over and he's eating something like pretzels or chips, he'll whisper to me "Am I crunching too loud? I'm trying really hard not to!" One time, Leonard and I were watching television together. I noticed that he continually turned up the T.V. until it was blaring. I looked at him with a quizzical look. Leonard put down his bowl of cereal and said "I can't hear the T.V. over my crunching!" Eventhough Leonard thinks his crunching is a negative attribute, I find it absolutely fascinating. The crunching sound that projects from his mouth is majestic and sonorous. His mouth has such amazing accoustics, it could easily outdo any famous music hall out there. If we were able to shrink the Mormon Tabernacle Choir to miniscule proportions, I'm sure they'd find a worthy concert hall in Leonard's mouth. If I had one wish, I'd like examine the complex blueprints belonging to the man that we call Leonard.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Deal or No Deal?

Why Bees are so Bee-otchin'
#9 Honeybees are so oriented to the location of their hive, that if the hive is moved a mere 5 ft. from its regular location the bee will go to original hive area, fall to the ground, and eventually die.

Leonardism...
There's a new game show on T.V. called "Deal or No Deal," where the contestant has the tough choice of taking money offered by a banker, or risking it all to get even more. Leonard and I watched it once, and lately he has been incorporating the show into our marriage. It usually goes something like this:
Me: Leonard, will you bring the car in from the street - I don't want to get a ticket.
Leonard: That depends, what are the stakes?
Me: I'll make you a salad.
Leonard: (yells angrily) No Deal!
Me: O.k. I'll make you a salad with a side of fruit.
Leonard: What type of fruit?
Me: Pineapple...
Leonard: No Deal!!!!
Me: Pineapple and grapes.
Leonard: (looks to his left as though consulting the audience) hmmm (thinks it over for a minute).....o.k. Deal!
I was always told that compromise was a pretty big part of marriage. I guess this is just the way that Leonard plans to go about it. (At least there aren't a bunch of hot chicks holding briefcases in our version of the show).

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Bees, Paula Abdul, and Leonard

O.k. So we all know there are some pretty bitchin' insects out there. Many have amazing adaptations, physical appearance, and mating habits. I have to say, though, that my most favorite insect is the honeybee. Here I begin my top 10 reasons why honeybees are so freakin' amazing. I'll post the rest in subsequent days - keep comin' back folks.

Why bees are so bee-otchin'
#10 Inside the honeybee abdomen are iron-containing cells which are connnected to nerves. These cells help the honeybee sense the earth's magnetic field, which aids in navigation. It is perhaps this mechanism that allows honeybees to travel miles from their hive and still find their way home.


Leonardism....
Lately, Leonard and I have been watching the hit TV show American Idol. I have a blast watching shows like this with Leonard, as his comments always crack me up. On this show in particular, Leonard likes to expand upon the judges' comments. The other night, it went something like this:
Paula Abdul: Wow. You sang great tonight.
Contestant: Thanks Paula.
Paula Abdul: No really. You made that song you're own. It's like you came out of your shell.
Leonard: Yes. You really came out of your shell tonight. Upon shedding your shell, you resembled a slug. Perhaps Simon will pour some salt on you, and dry you out completely. Yes, I think that's what might happen. Very strong performance.
I've noticed that when Leonard does this with his family, no one really reacts, but I can't stop laughing. One of his siblings remarked once that they simply got used to some of his humor. We've been married for almost 3 years now, and I think I find him even funnier now than I did at the beginning. I guess his Leonard antics will never really grow old.

Monday, February 20, 2006

If I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?

Leonardism.....
When Christopher Reeve was still alive, Leonard and I watched as he was interviewed on television. I told Leonard how sorry I felt for the guy after all that had happened to him. Leonard got this really sympathetic look on his face and remarked "he'd be fine if they'd just take him out of that kryptonite chair!"
Oh, Leonard. The fine workings of your mind amaze me.

Monday, January 30, 2006

My sincerest apologies...

...to my many devout, wonderful readers. I know that it has been awhile since I last posted - and I hope that I have not completely let you all down. After all of the emails, phone calls, and faxes I have received from my many readers, I am finally setting pen to paper to write my most personal thoughts and reflections.

This weekend was very relaxing. Leonard and I spent most of the time cleaning the house and watching Underworld in anticipation for the sequel. (In a million years I never would have thought I would enjoy a movie about vampires - Leonard is definitely rubbing off on me).

Leonardism: This summer Leonard and I went to my family reunion in McCall. We were sharing the bunk room with my sisters, when one morning Molly came in to tell me that everyone was sick. Fearing that the illness was due to the dinner I had made the night before, (which luckily it was not), I exclaimed "Oh no, this is my worst nightmare!!!" Leonard sat up and replied "Mine too, except there aren't any robots."

Monday, January 23, 2006

A day of packages (no Leonard, I'm not cheating....)

So, today I got two packages in the mail - the first some makeup from my mom (one of those companies that only give you a monthly amount and keep you hooked into paying S&H each month for more, but you love them so much that you pay it anyway), as well as a wedding album for our wedding pics (I know, we've been married almost 3 years, I'm just extremely picky). I LOVE the album, probably spent too much $$$ on it, but I know that it's something I'll always love - it's one of those bookcloth albums with a little window for a special picture. Which leads me to today's.....

...Leonardism: When deciding which pic to put in the front of the album, I chose one of Leonard and me kissing. Leonard, shaking his head in condescending disgust, suggested that the picture was not centered and that the one of us on the temple steps smiling at the camera was the best choice. We ended up with the one I wanted, much to his chagrin. Who knew that a man who sits two inches from the television screen when playing video games could be so conscious of scrapbooking? OK, I don't want to overdo the Leonardisms because I want all of my readers to be kept wanting, but I can't resist...I just barely got another...

...Leonardism: About two minutes ago, after telling Leonard to wait until I'm done blogging before he tells me about something that happened today, he said: "You love your blog.... instead of loving your blob." He then gave me the saddest face possible and stomped out of the room.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

My first post

Leonardisms: Today, Leonard pointed to his arm and said "I wish I was muscular instead of fatular."

Well, after reading TJ's blog I got all excited and decided I would start my own. Let the fun begin.......