Tuesday, January 27, 2009

By Royal Decree...

I married into royalty.

My father in-law has been lovingly and respectfully referred to as "King Ron" for years. Just as truth turns to legend which in turn becomes myth, it is unclear how exactly this nickname came about. Whatever the origin, it fits perfectly. Regally cloaked in his Big Dog t-shirt with his trusty wooden back scratcher as scepter, he pronounces his wise and merciful judgments on all aspects of life at the George household. His lessons, opinions, and commentary have stuck with me.
"I'll never forgive what he did to that sweet little Kidman girl," he'll pronounce whenever Tom Cruise is mentioned.
"It can't be worse than 8 years of Bozo" whenever current politics are discussed.
"Ron likes it cold. Cold. Cold. Cold." he'll sing and whistle merrily if anyone mentions the ambient temperature while piling on another blanket.
(Similarly, he'll croon "Ron likes toast. Toast. Toast. Toast." while making breakfast).
"Come on in! Take off your skin! And rattle around in your bones!!" This welcoming call will greet a a high school friend of Leonard's when they come by to visit.

During our last visit I had the great opportunity of spending afternoon upon afternoon watching various daytime Judge shows with Ron. Although the defendants and plaintiffs were ridiculous and therefore very amusing, it was Ron's commentary and excitement about what was taking place that kept me entertained. Sitting on the couch, watching King Ron in his throne-recliner become worked up over the legal disputes that somehow continually involved cuts of meat, I was filled with overwhelming admiration and respect for this noble man. I felt fortunate and blessed, passing hours of time at his side.

And just as a royal subject feels the need to express admiration through words such as "sire" and actions like tipping a feathered hat while bowing, I too felt the need to praise my King Ron. Attempt after attempt however, fell flat, and I only had myself to blame. Teasing Ron has become a favorite past time of myself and Leonard. I won't go into the specifics of our teasing here, but suffice it to say that in addition to being benevolent and gracious, Ron is also patient. "Ronnie, I had so much fun today watching Judge Joe Brown with you," I'd attempt. Ron would raise his eyebrows and wait for the punchline. Frustrated, I'd try again later. "Ron, this really has been a fun trip, spending so much time together... and stuff." Ron, frowning, would search my face, wondering what I was up to.

Words wouldn't work, and my years of witty jokes at Ron's expense were the cause. But I just couldn't let it go, I needed to express my feelings. So I did the next best thing I could think of. Recipes were gathered, decorating tips were polished, and pastry bags unfurled. Hours were spent in the kitchen, every second of my labor a testament to Ron's rightful place at the head of the George line.

And when King Ron placed my sugary sweet crown atop his stately head, I knew my appreciation was well received.

All hail Ron, King of the Georges.


Anonymous said...

Yay! Finally, another post. :) I don't even know the king but I can imagine him giving you the "what are you trying to pull now?" kind of look.
Keep them coming! (Even though I know it's tough - this whole working thing is somehow overrated.)
- julie m

T.J. said...

I'm pretty sure I gave him that name.

megan said...

I asked Leonard and he thinks you may be right. Given your consistent history of creative and witty commentary about people, I wouldn't doubt it.

Rebecca said...

What a fun post to read, as always!