Thursday, November 18, 2010

Customer Service

Dear Elderly Cashier at Joann's,

Thank you for your interest in my child's welfare. When you addressed my baby with your snarky remark of "maybe your mom should make you a hat!" you must have been quite concerned regarding her health and well being. I'm sure you felt that she was inadequately attired in her sweater, pants, socks, and the wrap comprised of numerous layers of jersey fabric which attached her to my torso. In response, I would like to bring your attention to two facts of which you may not have been previously aware:

1. Unlike the coal burning stoves of your day, modern electricity allows consistent heat distribution indoors ensuring a comfortable temperature for all.

2. Despite what you were taught by your then considered wise elders, pneumonia doesn't spontaneously occur in babies when they are dressed below the point of perspiration.

Doing It My Way

I wrote this letter in my mind as I walked to the car with my sack of fabric. I was contemplating yet another lesson I've learned in the past three months: insinuating that I'm a bad mom is the ultimate insult. Why do women do this to each other? I opened the car door and, miscalculating Amelia's position in the wrap relative to the car...smack! The door hit my darling baby's sweet bald head. She immediately began to wail as I juggled consoling her, gently kissing her owie, and trying to get her out of the carrier. She hadn't been hit really hard, but firmly enough to simultaneously crush my heart while leaving a little red mark on her noggin.

For the first time that day, I wished she had been wearing a hat.


Mandalynn said...

Funny post. And awesome hat!!

meg baker said...

Oh this is only the beginning of interesting comments from employees at Joann's. I think it is prerequisite to their job to make stupid rude remarks to all children. Amelia is super sweet. I don't think she could have a more loving and attentive mother!

Mindy said...

That is an amazing hat! Oh, how I hate mommy wars and all of the unsolicited comments you get everywhere as a mother. I remember wearing a sling to Barnes and Noble when Ella was little and having all of these people come up to me and ask about it, like it was this alien thing. Was she safe? Comfortable? How did that thing work anyway?!

Shannon Farmer said...

I had to buy some ugly fabric because an employee informed me my son wiped his runny nose on it. (This was after he had knocked down a beautiful table display of fabric, and he and his other brother, aka partner in crime, might have been seen jumping on the bed that so beautifully displayed a handmade quilt). I bought that 3 inch strip and GOT OUT OF THERE!!

Valery G. said...

You are hella-funny! Your girl has the coolest mom and dad;)