Tuesday, February 15, 2011

5 month addiction

Hello, my name is Megan **deep breath** and I'm an Amelioholic.

The other night I sat holding Millie as she slept in my arms. I tickled her bald head and chubby cheeks while Leonard looked on, the day drawing to an end. I was contemplating how long I would hold her before putting her down - maybe we'd just stay like this all night! I could feel my love for her swelling, expanding, threatening to overtake my human form. "It couldn't possibly get any better than this," I thought. As if in response Amelia stirred, startled. Upon seeing me her eyes relaxed into contentment. Lips pursed together, she blew me a lazy, slow-motion raspberry and then fell right back asleep. "Did you see that?" I mouthed to Leonard, who nodded, doubled over in silent laughter.

Amelia at 5 months is a sweet, goofy, roly poly, cooing, grabby, jabbering, dimpley, toothless grin of a baby whose cuteness emits tiny molecules that cross my blood brain barrier and keep me coming back for more. It starts first thing in the morning; her entire body smiles with excitement at seeing me. I'm instantly hooked and spend the next three hours intoxicated by her charms: airplane rides to the changing table, 10 minutes of peek-a-boo with giggles arising from deep within her chest, watching her maneuver a toy in her hands with the concentration of a world class chess player. When nap time arrives I busy myself with tasks around the house, withdrawal threatening if she sleeps longer than usual. Once awake, I again get my fix and the fun continues.

I recognize I'm not alone in this. I've noticed the signs during well child checks of babies this age. Parents unable to take their eyes off their infant, pride and adoration in their eyes. Happy babies who smile at every goofy face or gibberish-speak presented to them. I knew I'd be one of them, I just didn't understand the strength of the attraction. Her adorability is so vast, any comment about it seems trite - exclamations by passersby of "Oh, she's so cute!" cause me to simply nod affirmatively in agreement, no "Oh, do you think so?" will escape my lips. You may as well tell me that the sky is blue.

Right now I am her entire Universe. Giver of comfort, supplier of food, performing artist of her favorite lullabies, instructor in completion of developmental milestones, comedian extraordinaire, 5 star rated shoulder to sleep on. In return she rewards me with her constant adoration and preference. I completely understand that this phase is temporary. With time I'll be forced to exert more energy to obtain the same affection and gasp! one day she'll actually look to me as the cause of her anger or frustration.

But for the moment I am going to enjoy my high.


Molly said...

If you've been on a five-month high, then consider me a victim of second-hand smoke.

Totally addicted.

Anonymous said...

I can't wait to have my own kid after reading this...This sounds like all the sleepless nights would be so worth it..

Ashleigh said...

Megs you are so cute, and so is that Millie-- for reals, though. Cait and I are reading your blog and she can't take her eyes off Millie. She must already recognize her friend!