Sunday, September 18, 2011

A Jaunt to the Past

On Skype with Grandma Irene as I cook dinner

I overdid it on dinner tonight, though it was delicious to be sure. Lebanese Turkey Stuffed Eggplant with Tabbouleh on the side, many of the ingredients fresh from my garden. Since going part-time I've made it a goal to cook about 4 homemade dinners a week, focusing on easy to prepare, healthy but interesting meals. Unfortunately, tonight's dinner took longer than I had expected. By the time we're done eating, Leonard and I crash on the couch, me exhausted from hours of cooking, him from hours of Millie tending. Soon we would have to start Bedtime Routine and then clean up the kitchen. But as often happens when we want to relax, Millie continues to explore every inch of this house. This time I hear her entering our bedroom. "Is the bathroom door closed?" I ask. "Yes, I made sure" he answers. But still there's the low bedside tables for her to climb on, among other dangers. "Where's Millie?" he cries in a sing-song voice that fakes playfulness through his fatigue. He then turns to me. "Can you imagine if we could go back before she was born? Just for like a day or two?"

We talk about it with the same eagerness of two starving people discussing their favorite foods. The extra time. Weekends sleeping in. Sunday naps. Dates. No schedule, plans made on a whim. Leaving the house without gathering a bag of necessities and just-in-cases. Visiting friends without following her around, taking breakables and choke-sized knick knacks out of her hands as she roams. It seems heavenly, and we laugh and muse at the thought.

We hear her walk back into the room; as always she's fallen for his hide and seek trick, and when she rounds the corner we see her pulling a comb through what little hair she has. She proceeds to try out the comb on me and then her dad, testing the resistance and giggling at the whole experience. Leonard and I look at each other and shake our heads like we always do when her antics are too cute for words.

I decide that I wouldn't like our pre-Millie visit for the same reason I would never want to win the lottery. It would have it's perks to be sure, but soon I'd be so overwhelmed with what was missing that I would no longer enjoy them. In the case of the lottery, the satisfaction and self-esteem that comes from building a home, a life, a career on our own hard work. And in the case of the other, a curious little being that, though exhausting, has enriched our lives more than I think we'll ever know.


Natalie said...

So true. Although exhausting (in all aspects of the word), kids really are as great as everyone said they would be :)

megan said...

Thanks Natalie, I think we grossly underestimated the exhausting part of it!